Friday, August 29, 2008

MIA Friends

Do you have any friends who seem to be "Missing In Action" (MIA)? I mean true friends -- people whom you are genuinely close to, whom you feel a strong connection with, whom you've been through a lot with, who have supported you and whom you've supported, whose company you enjoy and who seem to feel the same way about you -- yet, it has been far too long since you've heard from them? The kind of friend you know would gladly do anything you ask, and for whom you would do the same -- yet, you never hear from them, unless you make the effort, take the initiative, pick up the phone, make an appointment or lunch date, or otherwise reach out to try to spend time with them. It makes you feel like maybe you value the friendship more than they do, since it if was left up the them, weeks or even months would go by without you hearing a word. (And you know this for sure, because you have tested it to see.) But then, if you do make the effort, they give every indication that they would love to see you or hear from you or spend time with you more often.

What's up with that?

2 comments:

gmommy said...

It's procrastination and/or being overwhelmed with life.
I'm ashamed to say I do that. After working, cleaning house, car, yard, and self, sleeping and eating...there's just not much energy left to take initiative.
AND some people are just better at taking the initiative.

We also have so many "virtual relationships" these days that don't require getting prepared and going somewhere to meet....
not right but that's my take on it.

Lin said...

I think we all have 'compartmental' friends. We were very close in that situation but when it changes (different job, church, moving etc) it seems to fizzle out.

I have a very old friend I met in Dallas after college. We met at our apt mailboxes one day. She invited me, a newcomer there with no friends, up to her apt for egg salad sandwiches on Sat. Since that day, we were best friends.We really had little in common as she was raised Orthodox Jew. Eventually, introduced her to her future husband who was from my hometown and visiting me while there on business. He ended up being relocated to Dallas and they married.

I have been back to see them a few times in 20 years but not often. She and I talk about once a year and it is like we never parted. We just pick up where we left off. She also converted to christianity years ago and called me right away.